[She accepts the double hattening graciously. Even turns to the mirror to adjust it, fanning out the brims so they point in opposing direction like leaves on a steam, all while her chin wobbles and her complexion blotches anew.]
Yes. I guess he was resigned to that ending for a while.
[She takes a deep breath. Steady now.]
Did you know about it? That he was fighting something so terrible inside?
[ what an incredible look. he glances away from the mirror for a moment; usually it would be to stifle a laugh, but right now it's a small show of regret. ]
No. He never told me.
[ he should've asked, somehow. ]
...His last thoughts were for us. Not for whatever lived inside him. I hope, in the end, he defeated it.
[He'd tried to grab her arrow at the last moment, then forfeited in favour of words. That has to count for something. A monster barely kept at bay by preemptive strikes, but quelled just the same.]
I've known people who became monsters before. It can be...it's difficult to reconcile who you are thereafter. I don't know if he would have kept any sense of self had he changed, but even so. Just knowing it was there must have made it very hard for him.
[She bites at her lip.]
I guess he thought he was protecting us a little, keeping secrets like that. And protecting himself. People don't take kindly to monsters.
[ his perspective of the first trial had been interesting, where people speculated aloud about monsters. transforming into them, fearing them, thinking aloud whether the culprit had become one. a number of people had mistaken him for a monster. he wonders where the line is. was eunhyuk afraid, when they'd spoken like that? ]
I expect he wanted to handle it himself. He was that sort of person. Always so... responsible. [ it's said with—not just admiration. some regret. ] I'm sorry that today you too had to take a share of that responsibility. It should fall upon all of us.
[ he doesn't reach for any more clothes, weariness momentarily catching up to him as he just puts some of the hangers back nowhere in particular. ]
But the burden now is something we will carry together. [ as it gets heavier and heavier. ]
It's all right. [She nods stiffly, but meets his eye in earnest.] I've had to do things that I'm not proud of before. And I've had to fight friends.
[Not like this, but who could have anticipated anything about their sojourn in space?
She takes a deep breath. The tears don't come now. She's already done so much crying, and she's tired, and she's grateful once again for Sidon. He puts up with so much, truly. She suspects she's not the only person to come running to him when things go awry. He just has a way about him.]
Well. If all hands are on deck, then it shouldn't be so bad.
[And she'll put her own to his chest, smiling up at him.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Yes. I guess he was resigned to that ending for a while.
[She takes a deep breath. Steady now.]
Did you know about it? That he was fighting something so terrible inside?
no subject
No. He never told me.
[ he should've asked, somehow. ]
...His last thoughts were for us. Not for whatever lived inside him. I hope, in the end, he defeated it.
[ even if only in his heart. ]
no subject
[He'd tried to grab her arrow at the last moment, then forfeited in favour of words. That has to count for something. A monster barely kept at bay by preemptive strikes, but quelled just the same.]
I've known people who became monsters before. It can be...it's difficult to reconcile who you are thereafter. I don't know if he would have kept any sense of self had he changed, but even so. Just knowing it was there must have made it very hard for him.
[She bites at her lip.]
I guess he thought he was protecting us a little, keeping secrets like that. And protecting himself. People don't take kindly to monsters.
no subject
[ his perspective of the first trial had been interesting, where people speculated aloud about monsters. transforming into them, fearing them, thinking aloud whether the culprit had become one. a number of people had mistaken him for a monster. he wonders where the line is. was eunhyuk afraid, when they'd spoken like that? ]
I expect he wanted to handle it himself. He was that sort of person. Always so... responsible. [ it's said with—not just admiration. some regret. ] I'm sorry that today you too had to take a share of that responsibility. It should fall upon all of us.
[ he doesn't reach for any more clothes, weariness momentarily catching up to him as he just puts some of the hangers back nowhere in particular. ]
But the burden now is something we will carry together. [ as it gets heavier and heavier. ]
no subject
[Not like this, but who could have anticipated anything about their sojourn in space?
She takes a deep breath. The tears don't come now. She's already done so much crying, and she's tired, and she's grateful once again for Sidon. He puts up with so much, truly. She suspects she's not the only person to come running to him when things go awry. He just has a way about him.]
Well. If all hands are on deck, then it shouldn't be so bad.
[And she'll put her own to his chest, smiling up at him.]
At least we'll look great doing it.