[ she waits for a while after he revives before she comes to find him. she checks and sees how receptive he may or may not be to company before she approaches. ]
[ awww, shouxue. he's made himself sparse by going to the caverns, but he actually doesn't mind company.
he's sitting, legs in one of the cold water pools, glancing over his shoulder at her. there are red, glowing spots across his skin, but otherwise he looks fine now. ]
Shouxue. [ a little smile. ] Did you hear that something bad had happened? Sorry.
[ he says that genuinely, but with a note of something rare for him: exhaustion. he's still tired. he stretches idly, his real eyes sliding shut for a moment. ]
It doesn't. [ ... ] I don't know what he'll tell you, but he died. So did Margaret, and Guy.
I didn't see Margaret, but the other two did not go peacefully.
[ OWNER REALLY JUST OUT THERE HAVING THE WORST WEEK EVER
meanwhile he hates this week's effects, being one of like four tactile people in this entire hellhole, but she can get close enough to see him wince, the fins across his body ruffling in disturbance. ]
I... killed them. Owner and Guy. [ sorry people keep killing the folks you love, shouxue ]
[ her guilt and desire for atonement outweigh most of her other feelings, so she can't regard him the same way she does rosamund or how she will gregor when or if he shows up.
she is unfair in her biases even if her bias slants in different ways for different people. ]
... You told me I was as much as a victim when I killed you. Is it any different in this case?
he has his biases too, even if they manifest differently. his expression shifts into a sort of tired amusement. ]
I'd appreciate if you didn't use my own words against me! [ he's kidding. ] ...It is different, and it isn't. I have forgiven you, and it was easy—liberating, even. Doing so for myself is... different. I think you understand.
[ she comes over and reaches for one of his hands, examining for telltale signs of rust or anything else. ]
I do not have as open a heart as yours, but it is easier to forgive others over yourself. Even if Owner and Guy do not hold it against you. I don't think you shouldn't harbor guilt.
[ because it means he cares, and she will never tell him not to care. ]
[ she can have the flesh hand, which seems to have dodged most of the rust. it does have an eye on the back, though.
he hates that she can empathize with this. or maybe it's a good thing that he's learned what she's going through, too—he can offer his forgiveness, but was that really enough? one silver lining to all this: he can try to understand her and all the other killers a little better. ]
I'll try not to... Though it doesn't really feel fair to absolve myself.
[ he pauses, then offers a little smile. ]
Though none of this is very fair to begin with, is it?
[ just the weight and warmth of a friend's (small) hand in his is enough. actions speak louder, and all. he doesn't need the right words, a perfect answer—there is never the exact right thing to say in the face of tragedy.
there is just being there for one another. especially because—he and shouxue have an unfortunate sort of bond. even if they're friends, there is room to heal. ]
It pains me to know that you understand. But if we do struggle, let us struggle together.
[ things will get better. he does believe that. he squeezes her hand, gently. ]
...I saw you there, for a moment. I'm glad to see that you're all right.
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w5 ; thurs
Sidon....?
no subject
he's sitting, legs in one of the cold water pools, glancing over his shoulder at her. there are red, glowing spots across his skin, but otherwise he looks fine now. ]
Shouxue. [ a little smile. ] Did you hear that something bad had happened? Sorry.
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You didn't ask for whatever happened. I just wanted to see....
[ how he was doing. how he is doing. ]
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I'm all right! [ he died and he's better now ] ...I didn't mean to worry you. I'm sure Owner gave you a fright too.
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At least this time, someone carried him to the pods.
[ no more hiding lost arms...
sidon is healed, but these eyes look kind of traumatizing even if they're more like tattoos. ]
Even knowing you'll come back, it doesn't make it easy. [ he sounded so tired when he came back. ]
no subject
[ he says that genuinely, but with a note of something rare for him: exhaustion. he's still tired. he stretches idly, his real eyes sliding shut for a moment. ]
It doesn't. [ ... ] I don't know what he'll tell you, but he died. So did Margaret, and Guy.
I didn't see Margaret, but the other two did not go peacefully.
no subject
sidon's exhaustion is worry, and she comes a little closer. it is anti-physical affection week, but she isn't trying to touch him. ]
He didn't tell me too much about his last one, and I only found out about some of it because I became angry at him.
What of you?
no subject
meanwhile he hates this week's effects, being one of like four tactile people in this entire hellhole, but she can get close enough to see him wince, the fins across his body ruffling in disturbance. ]
I... killed them. Owner and Guy. [ sorry people keep killing the folks you love, shouxue ]
no subject
she is unfair in her biases even if her bias slants in different ways for different people. ]
... You told me I was as much as a victim when I killed you. Is it any different in this case?
no subject
he has his biases too, even if they manifest differently. his expression shifts into a sort of tired amusement. ]
I'd appreciate if you didn't use my own words against me! [ he's kidding. ] ...It is different, and it isn't. I have forgiven you, and it was easy—liberating, even. Doing so for myself is... different. I think you understand.
no subject
[ she comes over and reaches for one of his hands, examining for telltale signs of rust or anything else. ]
I do not have as open a heart as yours, but it is easier to forgive others over yourself. Even if Owner and Guy do not hold it against you. I don't think you shouldn't harbor guilt.
[ because it means he cares, and she will never tell him not to care. ]
no subject
he hates that she can empathize with this. or maybe it's a good thing that he's learned what she's going through, too—he can offer his forgiveness, but was that really enough? one silver lining to all this: he can try to understand her and all the other killers a little better. ]
I'll try not to... Though it doesn't really feel fair to absolve myself.
[ he pauses, then offers a little smile. ]
Though none of this is very fair to begin with, is it?
no subject
Not at all. It may be a struggle for some time, but as horrible as it is, many of us understand. You will not be alone.
[ she thinks the others would have words and actions better suited for Sidon, but this is the best she can do. ]
no subject
there is just being there for one another. especially because—he and shouxue have an unfortunate sort of bond. even if they're friends, there is room to heal. ]
It pains me to know that you understand. But if we do struggle, let us struggle together.
[ things will get better. he does believe that. he squeezes her hand, gently. ]
...I saw you there, for a moment. I'm glad to see that you're all right.