I am. And no, none that I can ascertain. Dahut's concoction was painless.
[ frankly a mercy, because he was in disastrous shape. all better now though! the only thing left, scien can see for himself: there are flat, red eyes between gaps in his scales, like tattoos. ]
There is nothing worthwhile in mine to report aside from a cameo from that blue buffoon on the other side. I was mostly annoyed and inconvenienced for it.
[truly he just didn't like it! but he's hard to emotionally disrupt to begin with]
[ listen..... he's not going to ask scien to listen to the long tale of his suffering, which he doesn't like complaining about to begin with. but he respects his opinions, so.
he speaks, and it's not jovial, or friendly, or any of his usual beats. it's something he would rather commit to paper. a journal, or a letter. but he's already shamed himself by dying in front of everyone, so what's he got to lose by not being Fun for a minute. ]
When any of us loses our mind to rage, beset by madness—what is better?
Wondering if it could have been prevented, had you been different? Less flawed—more powerful, or wiser, or cautious?
Or taking responsibility and guilt, even if it is no fault of your own, driven by a cause you could not predict or resist?
scien is thoughtful as he listens, pondering it over. it lines up with what he knows about lucien. to be caught somewhere between all his crazy.]
I do not think it is useful to live in the past. I have my own share of sins that I have to accept, even though those were actions I took in my sound mind.
So I believe in taking responsibility in the actions caused by your own hands, even though you need not overly blame yourself for them. [a beat] At the very least, that is what I felt after I dissected my own assistant for a reason that made no sense.
That was me, and it wasn't me. However my hands are still the ones bloodied.
[ regrettably, he is not immune to being sad or serious sometimes, it's nothing new. but he'd usually do a better job keeping it to himself? ]
...Yes. It was similar to the killings here. Our minds were touched with madness, and we hurt one another.
[ his fins droop. they behave like dog ears. big... sad...... :( ]
It truly wasn't any of their faults. They were moved by an outside force. But they are the ones left with the consequences, and it's difficult—divorcing guilt, from responsibility.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I am. And no, none that I can ascertain. Dahut's concoction was painless.
[ frankly a mercy, because he was in disastrous shape. all better now though! the only thing left, scien can see for himself: there are flat, red eyes between gaps in his scales, like tattoos. ]
no subject
[he won't let dahut get credit for scien's euthanasia help me,
his gaze drifts toward those lil eyes....]
... as long as you're fine now. I'm sure the others have asked after the horrors you've seen.
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Some of them, yes. Did you want a report? I could find some crackers, we could trade.
[ it's said with levity, but it's a real offer, too. ]
no subject
[truly he just didn't like it! but he's hard to emotionally disrupt to begin with]
Though if you care to share yours, I will listen.
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[ truly unfortunate pair-up there though oops. ]
I don't think it's anything very helpful to know. Ours was some derivative of Lucien's memories.
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[rip. but hmmmm,]
... yours still seemed more violent.
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Violent... yes. It was that.
[ he grimaces slightly, tail swishing in discontent as he considers. ]
Might I ask you a hypothetical? A question of philosophy, with no real answer.
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but,]
Go ahead.
[thank you for carrying a way to keep the thread going, nu]
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he speaks, and it's not jovial, or friendly, or any of his usual beats. it's something he would rather commit to paper. a journal, or a letter. but he's already shamed himself by dying in front of everyone, so what's he got to lose by not being Fun for a minute. ]
When any of us loses our mind to rage, beset by madness—what is better?
Wondering if it could have been prevented, had you been different? Less flawed—more powerful, or wiser, or cautious?
Or taking responsibility and guilt, even if it is no fault of your own, driven by a cause you could not predict or resist?
no subject
scien is thoughtful as he listens, pondering it over. it lines up with what he knows about lucien. to be caught somewhere between all his crazy.]
I do not think it is useful to live in the past. I have my own share of sins that I have to accept, even though those were actions I took in my sound mind.
So I believe in taking responsibility in the actions caused by your own hands, even though you need not overly blame yourself for them. [a beat] At the very least, that is what I felt after I dissected my own assistant for a reason that made no sense.
That was me, and it wasn't me. However my hands are still the ones bloodied.
no subject
...Yes. It was similar to the killings here. Our minds were touched with madness, and we hurt one another.
[ his fins droop. they behave like dog ears. big... sad...... :( ]
It truly wasn't any of their faults. They were moved by an outside force. But they are the ones left with the consequences, and it's difficult—divorcing guilt, from responsibility.
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[HELP!!!! says the man who commits so very many horrors for the sake of his goals]
Your emotions are what's swaying you. So is your care for one another, and it's clouding your judgment again.
... but since even I haven't gotten rid of this particular intertwined feeling, I have little I can say.
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Well, I'll take it as a comfort that you haven't sorted it out either.
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... but it's near impossible to write it out of the system. And I think most of you wouldn't like that.
[at this point, scien wouldn't like that either]