[she does allow it! maybe surprisingly. or maybe not surprisingly - she's let sidon get away with a lot.
she turns into it, even, just a little, resting her head against him and closing her eyes. just this once. just this once she lets herself be less guarded, because today was hard and knowing the truth doesn't make her feel any better. it just makes her feel hollowed out.
she reaches for the kindness she's felt from people here because she's never known it, and she doesn't really care if it hurts. it's better to have had it at all.
throné breathes in, shivery and a little wet, and tries to shakes the tension out of her shoulders.]
... I know. Thank you. [she mumbles.] I'm... trying.
[ one day he'll mess up her hair bad enough that she kills him. until then, she can keep getting hugs. he's not warm or especially soft but he's solid and he holds her firmly, as long as she wants. ]
I know you are! Otherwise I couldn't be here.
[ and to be honest—his spirits rise too, able to rally a smile as he keeps this up until her shoulders even out and his own chest aches less. it helps, holding people, being held, being accepted and accepting—not going through this alone is for his own sake, too. ]
The important thing is to never let our spirits break. And I— [ he takes a deep breath. he thinks about viktor and eunhyuk. ] —I'm grateful, for every friend I still have left to protect. Like you.
[yeah one day he's gonna ruffle her hair and she's going to instinctively fishicide, but for now - she's fine with this. it's kind of a relief to be less angry. it kind of hurts after a while.
she hums, just a bit, when he says that last bit, and pulls back to look up at him.]
And you'll let them protect you too, won't you? [right sidon. you'll let your friends take care of you.]
[ he'll let her free of the hug when the tension drains away a bit—that coil of anger in her was wound tight enough to feel—letting out a little puff of laughter. ]
Ah, of course... of course! [ he hadn't actually been thinking about that, but since he's been called out, wow. ] Though, you don't... need to put yourself in harm's way? I'm really quite strong!
I won't. [put herself in harm's way - she's not a very self-sacrificial person most of the time. there are definitely circumstances where she might be, but mostly...]
You can be very strong and still get hurt. And I can protect you in lots of ways.
[ the best way to protect him is for her to stay safe. but she doesn't seem reckless with her own health in that regard, and she's obviously strong... maybe he doesn't have to worry about her too badly in the face of danger. sidon doesn't know how murder proposals work. ]
What sort of ways? [ he manages to sound a little amused, despite how awful the atmosphere of today is. ] I need to get better at defending myself, if I've worried you so.
I have my ways. [the ways are threatening people with a knife] ... It isn't so much that you're not good at defending yourself. I just don't want to lose someone else that I care about.
—You care about me! [ today sucks so bad and this week has been a nightmare, but he looks genuinely pleased for a moment anyway. ] I'm honored, Throné! I care for you very much as well.
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she turns into it, even, just a little, resting her head against him and closing her eyes. just this once. just this once she lets herself be less guarded, because today was hard and knowing the truth doesn't make her feel any better. it just makes her feel hollowed out.
she reaches for the kindness she's felt from people here because she's never known it, and she doesn't really care if it hurts. it's better to have had it at all.
throné breathes in, shivery and a little wet, and tries to shakes the tension out of her shoulders.]
... I know. Thank you. [she mumbles.] I'm... trying.
[to let people in.]
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I know you are! Otherwise I couldn't be here.
[ and to be honest—his spirits rise too, able to rally a smile as he keeps this up until her shoulders even out and his own chest aches less. it helps, holding people, being held, being accepted and accepting—not going through this alone is for his own sake, too. ]
The important thing is to never let our spirits break. And I— [ he takes a deep breath. he thinks about viktor and eunhyuk. ] —I'm grateful, for every friend I still have left to protect. Like you.
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she hums, just a bit, when he says that last bit, and pulls back to look up at him.]
And you'll let them protect you too, won't you? [right sidon. you'll let your friends take care of you.]
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Ah, of course... of course! [ he hadn't actually been thinking about that, but since he's been called out, wow. ] Though, you don't... need to put yourself in harm's way? I'm really quite strong!
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You can be very strong and still get hurt. And I can protect you in lots of ways.
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What sort of ways? [ he manages to sound a little amused, despite how awful the atmosphere of today is. ] I need to get better at defending myself, if I've worried you so.
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I have my ways. [the ways are threatening people with a knife] ... It isn't so much that you're not good at defending yourself. I just don't want to lose someone else that I care about.
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—You care about me! [ today sucks so bad and this week has been a nightmare, but he looks genuinely pleased for a moment anyway. ] I'm honored, Throné! I care for you very much as well.
[ in case it wasn't incredibly obvious ]
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... Idiot. [but it's very, very fond.] Of course I do.
[a beat.] I'm glad that you do.