[ the way i do not think he knows what a bus is and this is nonsensical anyway.
he doesn't say that; he will reach and offer a hand. gently urging for her to take it, in case she needs even that much. he speaks warmly, voice firm rather than gentle. ]
You are alive, and here with me.
[ thank hylia for that. ]
These experiences toy with your mind. Illusions made real. Ichiban made it back as well, and Temenos was never gone.
he wishes he didn't just have a prosthetic for one arm right now, but he will clasp hers with both his hands anyway. ]
I know you will be. [ she's so strong but in that way that a broken bone grows back tougher, again and again and again. ] But it's all right if you aren't right now.
[she's just going to sit here and take deep breaths for a second. they sort of. whistle. she was in the pods but not very long because she didn't want to take up space...]
... I don't want to die. [she says, finally, voice breaking a little.] I don't want what's waiting. I died, and it was... there was fire, and a thousand screaming, agonized people dragging me down. I don't want that.
[she's alive, here, she's alive and with him, but. she remembers, holding onto his hands tightly.]
no he will carefully free a hand to bring her head to rest against his shoulder, finding an uninjured patch of her back to hold. it's hard to have words of comfort for something so traumatic, so this is the best he can offer. they can hug it out however many times this hell-ship demands. ]
You aren't dead. You won't die.
[ it is very, very hard to confidently state this on a thursday after the last two thursdays, but someone has to say it and believe it, so he does. ]
Besides—...don't you think that sounds like a living person's imagination? It sounds like what we fear for the afterlife, not the real thing.
[ someone who is afraid of death is going to imagine the worst possible fate awaits them. punishment for their misdeeds, their crimes. maybe it's whatever's following after her, that past of great sadness, that makes death so frightening. ]
[she only ever gets hugs from sidon!!! and like, temenos, but he doesn't count. everybody else is too afraid to touch her,
so he pulls her in and she just stays there, closing her eyes. doesn't it sound like something you'd dream up? it sort of does. it's not what she pictured, but then again, she's not even really sure if she ever has pictured anything at all.
and even if it ends up being a lie, that she dies, or he dies, or - anybody does, it's still a comfort to hear.]
... Mm.
[and then after a moment, quiet and tired and a little wry:]
but this is fine. he doesn't need her to pore over a traumatizing experience in detail unless she wants to—as friends do after a hard day, he'll just talk about whatever. they're truly free to do whatever. ]
You say that, but I mostly got in your way. [ she was good with a knife for a literal child. ] But you were adorable yourself, you know. I think I saw you bite someone?
[she really did just tell him the whole cyoa in a sentence, and it really does not make any sense in context or out of context
but she's fine to do this - it feels less... bad, to pretend like she's fine. letting people see her upset always leaves a faint sense of guilt and shame behind, and she's so tired that she isn't sure she can manage to hold those emotions on top of her severe trauma that got jack-in-the-boxed at during this mission, so.
[ this is fine i never understand cyoas until i read them at endgame and now neither will sidon
they can pretend to have a normal moment even though she is covered in dried gore and apples and she was clearly not doing fine. sometimes, feeling better can mean cuddling a little and having a laugh on the worst day of your life.
speaking of, he's on the verge of another chuckle. ]
You didn't really need weapons against Arthur...? Poor man was just trying to help you.
anyway she misses her last chance to take him out ]
You looked like you'd had practice.
[ he's royalty, but he can take a guess what sort of child needs to be armed to earn their food. ] ...I imagine in a city like yours, not everyone could afford a comfortable life.
[ that shouldn't be an easy answer. his own father could be strict with him, but that's normal—that's the average sort of discipline a parent shows because they care enough to teach a life lesson. he never had to question whether he'd earned a place to stay or a meal to eat or if he'd feel the sting of a whip.
if he had a proper brow, it'd furrow, but instead there's a sharpness in his eyes; they're more sharklike when the usual, friendly sparkle isn't there. ]
Then I shudder to think what his punishments were like.
... That's all I've done my whole life. I'm assigned a target or a house that has angered the wrong people and I... clean. [...] I don't want to do that anymore.
[ he meets her eyes, letting his expression ease back into something warm. he feels outrage for her sake, naturally, but there's a natural priority to smile. ]
...Good. I hope you never have to raise your blade for any cause that isn't yours again.
[ no one should have their own family point a finger and demand death. this explains a lot about... everything he'd felt from her before. ]
You deserve your own life.
[ if you get rnged to kill i will be so sad so enjoy endgame ]
[ listens to this and immediately makes myself sad!! cool!!!!!
she still wears that collar; he sees her touch it from time to time, when she's drawn off in a thought. is it a symbol of restraint? something else?
he just hopes she really is free. ]
Kindness isn't a transaction. You don't owe me anything and you never will.
[ there is no favor here. he wants her to know that no matter what, there is no need for a give or take with him. HOWEVER, ]
But if you want to make me happy, you can do your best to keep the rest of your limbs. [ more seriously: ] What would bring me the most joy is seeing you safe. I... realize that's quite the ask. [ because they can't control anything here. ] But seeing you like this...
[ she's still covered in gore. thursdays are really hard! really bad. please don't get sucked into a cyoa black hole again. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he doesn't say that; he will reach and offer a hand. gently urging for her to take it, in case she needs even that much. he speaks warmly, voice firm rather than gentle. ]
You are alive, and here with me.
[ thank hylia for that. ]
These experiences toy with your mind. Illusions made real. Ichiban made it back as well, and Temenos was never gone.
no subject
... I know. [she says finally, taking his hand.] I know.
[but she's still reeling, and it's clear - her hand is probably trembling a little.]
I'll... I'll be fine.
no subject
he wishes he didn't just have a prosthetic for one arm right now, but he will clasp hers with both his hands anyway. ]
I know you will be. [ she's so strong but in that way that a broken bone grows back tougher, again and again and again. ] But it's all right if you aren't right now.
no subject
... I don't want to die. [she says, finally, voice breaking a little.] I don't want what's waiting. I died, and it was... there was fire, and a thousand screaming, agonized people dragging me down. I don't want that.
[she's alive, here, she's alive and with him, but. she remembers, holding onto his hands tightly.]
no subject
no he will carefully free a hand to bring her head to rest against his shoulder, finding an uninjured patch of her back to hold. it's hard to have words of comfort for something so traumatic, so this is the best he can offer. they can hug it out however many times this hell-ship demands. ]
You aren't dead. You won't die.
[ it is very, very hard to confidently state this on a thursday after the last two thursdays, but someone has to say it and believe it, so he does. ]
Besides—...don't you think that sounds like a living person's imagination? It sounds like what we fear for the afterlife, not the real thing.
[ someone who is afraid of death is going to imagine the worst possible fate awaits them. punishment for their misdeeds, their crimes. maybe it's whatever's following after her, that past of great sadness, that makes death so frightening. ]
no subject
so he pulls her in and she just stays there, closing her eyes. doesn't it sound like something you'd dream up? it sort of does. it's not what she pictured, but then again, she's not even really sure if she ever has pictured anything at all.
and even if it ends up being a lie, that she dies, or he dies, or - anybody does, it's still a comfort to hear.]
... Mm.
[and then after a moment, quiet and tired and a little wry:]
I'd almost prefer being a child again.
no subject
he has extra fins today, ruffling off of him like some oversized beta fish, and they ripple with a short laugh, one that rumbles against her. ]
We nearly died! But, ah—it was good fun.
[ he'd been scared in the moment, but it went fine actually. they can talk about simpler times (literally the day before) simpler times ]
I was a very timid and clumsy child, though. I prefer where I am now.
no subject
You were very cute. [she says, a little teasing as she looks up at him.] But we managed. You were very brave to help me the way you did.
I suppose that hasn't stopped. You still do.
no subject
but this is fine. he doesn't need her to pore over a traumatizing experience in detail unless she wants to—as friends do after a hard day, he'll just talk about whatever. they're truly free to do whatever. ]
You say that, but I mostly got in your way. [ she was good with a knife for a literal child. ] But you were adorable yourself, you know. I think I saw you bite someone?
[ he might be teasing back, just a little. ]
no subject
but she's fine to do this - it feels less... bad, to pretend like she's fine. letting people see her upset always leaves a faint sense of guilt and shame behind, and she's so tired that she isn't sure she can manage to hold those emotions on top of her severe trauma that got jack-in-the-boxed at during this mission, so.
instead, she musters up a nose wrinkle at him.]
... Teeth are good weapons in a pinch. [okay]
no subject
they can pretend to have a normal moment even though she is covered in dried gore and apples and she was clearly not doing fine. sometimes, feeling better can mean cuddling a little and having a laugh on the worst day of your life.
speaking of, he's on the verge of another chuckle. ]
You didn't really need weapons against Arthur...? Poor man was just trying to help you.
no subject
I was doing fine. [huff.] I've fought bigger.
[don't pout you were six]
no subject
Yes, I'm sure you have. [ PATS HER HEAD LIKE THE POUTY BABY SHE IS he is definitely teasing now ] Consider, however, that you were barely a tadpole.
no subject
she looks like she is considering biting him, now. she does not.]
... I fought plenty at that age. [she says, blowing her hair out of her face where he patted it.] I had to eat, after all.
no subject
anyway she misses her last chance to take him out ]
You looked like you'd had practice.
[ he's royalty, but he can take a guess what sort of child needs to be armed to earn their food. ] ...I imagine in a city like yours, not everyone could afford a comfortable life.
no subject
she's quiet for a moment, like she's thinking this over, and then:]
... Yes, but that wasn't the reason. [she absently touches the collar around her neck.] Father could afford to do whatever he wanted, I'm sure.
no subject
his mind goes to the quote on her profile. ]
Then... why? If you don't mind sharing.
no subject
[as she says this, one of her arms is shifting. turning carapace-like, brown. a little roachy.]
Food and a place to stay was decent incentive.
no subject
he watches this transformation but doesn't react, not outwardly. a gift? he has so many questions. ]
...Your father didn't give those to you unconditionally?
cw: implied child abuse
she glances at him.]
No. [easy enough.] Father was kinder than Mother. She enjoyed any chance she had to use her whip.
... I preferred her punishments to his, though.
no subject
if he had a proper brow, it'd furrow, but instead there's a sharpness in his eyes; they're more sharklike when the usual, friendly sparkle isn't there. ]
Then I shudder to think what his punishments were like.
They would have you hurt people?
no subject
[she says, finally, tilting her head back.]
... That's all I've done my whole life. I'm assigned a target or a house that has angered the wrong people and I... clean. [...] I don't want to do that anymore.
no subject
...Good. I hope you never have to raise your blade for any cause that isn't yours again.
[ no one should have their own family point a finger and demand death. this explains a lot about... everything he'd felt from her before. ]
You deserve your own life.
[ if you get rnged to kill i will be so sad so enjoy endgame ]
no subject
Thank you. [she says finally, swallowing a little hard.] I want nothing more than to be free.
[she rests a hand on his arm.]
You've been so kind to me, Sidon. I hope I can return the favor.
no subject
she still wears that collar; he sees her touch it from time to time, when she's drawn off in a thought. is it a symbol of restraint? something else?
he just hopes she really is free. ]
Kindness isn't a transaction. You don't owe me anything and you never will.
[ there is no favor here. he wants her to know that no matter what, there is no need for a give or take with him. HOWEVER, ]
But if you want to make me happy, you can do your best to keep the rest of your limbs. [ more seriously: ] What would bring me the most joy is seeing you safe. I... realize that's quite the ask. [ because they can't control anything here. ] But seeing you like this...
[ she's still covered in gore. thursdays are really hard! really bad. please don't get sucked into a cyoa black hole again. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)